Late nights..

Lately... I've been up till like 2 in the morning.. and I don't know why.. All I know is that I'm so tired, but I can't sleep.. it feels like I should be doing something but I don't know what..



I think I'm gettin attacked.. I'm not sure though.. There are these nights.. when I'm lying in bed.. and I'll start thinking about death.. and like.. I start doubting Heaven and then it's like.. the worst feelings i've ever felt come and it's like this sick nothing-ness that all that happens is we live and we die, we end. and it's like this feeling in my stomach and it's like i get sick.. and i feel like puking and i ache and theres this sick dread and fear and i like have a panic attack and freak out in my mind and all i see is black... and it's so wretched.. i can't even explain.. and i'm left cold and in doubt.. and i force myself to stop thinking cry out to my Father and fall asleep.. it's scary..

I haven't done a drawing since october... i miss drawing..

And I've got every reason to be here again... a Fathers love.. it draws me in.. and all my eyes wanna see is a glimpse of You... all I need is You..

Eliza Jane Zachary Halter