Stop.

Stop. That's what God has been telling me tonight. I just need to stop. Tongith.. I was like "God I just don't know what to do.. I feel so stuck..." and He's like 'Go find Shylah.' So.. I find Shylah.. and I'm like 'so.. you should pray for me..' and she says 'whats up?' and I says back to her.. "I just don't know what to do.. I'm so frustrated.. like.. I have all this stuff spoken over my life and I want it so bad but it's seems instead of a blessing, like a curse because it's like 'o Eliza you'll be so huge in God's army.. you're such a leader.. you'll get visions and dreams.. you'll go visit Heaven.. see angels.. and into the spiritual realm.. move in prophecy.. have healing hands..blah blah blah'.. and It just gets so frustrating because here I am and to me it feels like I haven't heard God in forever.. I haven't drawn since october.. I read my bible.. I pray.. I try so hard.. I just can't seem to find Him... like.. what the frick do I do?" and Shylahs response "God's telling you to stop. Just stop." Then I started to cry....


my S.I leaders asked me the day of my de-briefing where I want to be in the next thirty years.. what would I have liked to accomplish.. and my answer is still the same.. I just want to be like Jesus.. because really.. what else is there?

peace,
ElizaJane