...? i dont' even know.
So as I sit here and write this, my best friend is dancing the night away on extacy.. and, I just.. don't know what to do. So.. I sent her a txt message and I ask her what she's up to and she replies that she's just chilling with the girls and that my brother just showed up.. and i send back "o neat" and she replies with a "yea everyones fuked up" and I ask "are you" and she replys "maybe" and I send back "yes or no?" and she sends "I love you" and I tell her that I love her too and she replies "yes" and I ask why.. and she says "why not..." and i send back "Jesus?" and she replies "whatever i'm going to go dance" and so I just told her that I loved her and if she needed anything to just call and if she wanted to leave I'd come get her.. got a couple people to pray for her..
So as I sit here, worrying about her and trying to figure out what exactly happened that made her decide this, I'm finding myself trying to take the blame.. by being a bad example, saying the wrong things, not loving Jesus enough.. which is all pretty gosh darn ridiculious.. but.. I still can't help but wonder if any of those things had to do with her decision...
Which leads me to thinking about the people who loved me while I went out and got all messed on drugs... I am so sorry... I never meant to make you worry.. Thank you so much for it though.. with out it I probably wouldn't have ever got around to straightening up my act..
And so as today marks my year of sobriety from drugs.. I sit here.. and feel helpless because my best friend is out on E.. and all I can do is pray.. So it would be really sweet of you if you could remember Shannon in your prayers.. thanks... sorry that this kinda jumped around all over..
"Get up, get out, get away from these liars.. 'Coz they don't get your soul or your fire. Take my hand knot your fingers through mine, and we'll walk out of this dark room for the last time"
-Eliza
So as I sit here, worrying about her and trying to figure out what exactly happened that made her decide this, I'm finding myself trying to take the blame.. by being a bad example, saying the wrong things, not loving Jesus enough.. which is all pretty gosh darn ridiculious.. but.. I still can't help but wonder if any of those things had to do with her decision...
Which leads me to thinking about the people who loved me while I went out and got all messed on drugs... I am so sorry... I never meant to make you worry.. Thank you so much for it though.. with out it I probably wouldn't have ever got around to straightening up my act..
And so as today marks my year of sobriety from drugs.. I sit here.. and feel helpless because my best friend is out on E.. and all I can do is pray.. So it would be really sweet of you if you could remember Shannon in your prayers.. thanks... sorry that this kinda jumped around all over..
"Get up, get out, get away from these liars.. 'Coz they don't get your soul or your fire. Take my hand knot your fingers through mine, and we'll walk out of this dark room for the last time"
-Eliza
posted by ninja_e at 5/22/2006 03:23:00 AM
3 Comments:
Eliza, First of all a huge congrats on making it one year. That is such a big deal. Second of all, I am praying for you and your friend. I know what it's like seeing a good friend walk away from what they know to be true. It's hard, all you can do is continue loving. Be like the people who loved you through it all, that's what we're called to do, it's impossible for us to be the "perfect example" but love covers a multitude of sins, and we can do that to the best of our ability. Hang in there girl. "The one who is faithful has called you and He will do it" 1Thessalonians 5:24
eliza, that's amazing... you making it a year w/out drugs. congrats, congrats, congrats!!! you should be so very proud of yourself and should know that God is in love w/ you and captivated by you... (read zeph 3:17)
and i will definitely pray for shannon, and for you. i've had a friend turn away and purposely make poor choices. it broke my heart and for i while i felt so responsible, but then someone reminded me that we can't be held responsible for anyone's spiritual lives except for our own. it was freeing. i stopped blaming myself (at least most of the time) and i prayed... like never before in my life...
so you're right on track, eliza... keep being there for her and keep PRAYING...
ONE YEAR! FREAK GIRL I LOVE YOU! That is so exciting and I am so proud of you. I totally believe in you and I know that you are going to do absolutely phenomenal things with your life...people will be impacted...already are...you rock girl!
Ninja's forev,
Ashley
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