.fallen.leaves.

this is so hard.
I'm freaking out..


all I can think about is having that one little drag... that one last hit..

o my goodness..

all I can think about is ciggarettes.



I.. I'll be honest.. this is one of the hardest things ever...

All I hear from people is that I'll be smoking again within the month...

it's what I dream about..

and.. what if they are right?

and I just..

I didn't think.. I just was asked too... so I did.. like it wasn't much.. just lit it for her..



but honestly.

what am I doing.


Oh, Father help me... I can't do this..