Everlong

"I wanna live like never before
I wanna fly and never come down.."

I've been thinking lately.. of the man.. who found the treasure in the field, and how he buried it back up, rushed away to sell all he had so he could buy the field and obtain the treasure that lay beneath it's soil..

I think I admire this man.. how he stumbles upon this treasure and he's so eager and full of desire to have it.. he rushes out.. and just surrenders all he has.. all for this one thing... and i know it doesn't really sound like much and it's kind of like "well who on earth wouldn't do that?" well.. me for instance. Or at least that what it seems like.. here i am "haphazardly" stumbling onto the kingdom and slavation and grace and love and joy this treasure from God.. and i'm not running off to surrender everything that hinders me from getting it.. it's constantly beckoning me and calling me to just get on with it, surrender and obtain.. but my flesh is just screaming 'no' and in my depths i know that this is what i truely want.. to surrender and grab hold of the Kingdom.. but i falter and i fail and i procrastinate.. i try to side-step the whole "surrender" part and try to just obtain it.. and i'm denied.. and i get discouraged because of that.. but it's all just because i'm foolish and selfish... I need to learn how to surrender.. to constantly walk in surrender looking always at the prize of the Kingdom.

Heck, maybe one day we'll all learn and we'll stop being content with just sneaking into the field, only to dig it up, only to look at it for awhile, to only grab hold for a short while... and then to have to put it back in and dream of it the next moment... maybe then we'll be able to do greater things than He who delivered us.


i dunno.
peace

.

my uncle just passed away...


my mom is having a really hard time and so is the rest of my family..


please pray

communication breakdown.

I don't know really what to write..
I barely know what to pray..

my uncle probably has a couple days or so left..
he has stomach cancer and he's now in the hospital.. they are planning on taking him home though..
he can't eat or drink and barely move..


my mom is really upset, she already lost one brother to cancer..


so.. yea pray please.

love.